greetings from vancouver. I’ve covered s much territory since my last post that I barely know where to begin. I supposed I should start by explaining why I am here. in my last post, I mentioned that my quest to catch the speeding wheel of double glouster cheese was impeded by the judo instructor who mangled my leg. Despite the fact that I did throw myself down the hill the next day in pursuit of said cheese—and then set off on a 400 mile 660km bike trip to ardrossen, Scotland—it turns out that I had torn the lateral meniscus on my right knee.

So yesterday, I went under general anesthesia (count to five. one two…zzz…), and vancouver knee specialist, dr. day, worked his arthroscopic magic. Thanks to the good doctor and my good fortune,  I was up-and-atom a few hours later. We are so lucky to live in an era where one can walk out of such an operation on their own steam. a friend’s mom had a similar operation 50 years ago and was in the hospital for a week. this morning I woke up at 4:30am to watch the tour de france, then walked several blocks to solly’s deli for the best bagel west of st. urbain street and some smoked salmon smear—so all is well and you will not her any more windging from me on the subject.

during the six weeks between the “double glouster cheese incident” and my operation, I spent a week in scotland learning the finer points of haggis hurling, a week in vancouver grooming a bee beard made from 15,000 bees, a week in Oklahoma learning to catch giant catfish with my bare hands, and a week in oatman, AZ perfecting the art of frying eggs using solar energy. all of these adventures were documented for season 2 of Glutton for Punishment, which will begin airing in january. (In case you missed it, season 1 debuted on Food Network [usa] and now has a regular time slot on tuesdays at 9:30pm between bobby flay and rachael ray.

just before my operation, I had the good fortune of cooking an intimate luncheon for 40 in the awe-inspiring viniculture garden of the davis bynum winery in sonoma. If you get the chance, beg, borrow or steal (but not from me) a bottle from their allen, lindley’s knoll, or backbone vineyards. All of them are exceptional  burgundian-style pinots. They may not quench  robert parker’s thirst for cherry bombs, but (or because of the fact that) their elegance blows me away.

On august 4th, I head off to hope, arkansas for a watermelon seed-spitting competition. Don’t laugh—this time I’m out for the gold.

more soon,

b

greetings from gloucester, UK. I came here to compete in the gloucester cheese rolling competition—an event in which 60 demented former rugby players catapult head-over-heals like rag dolls down an insanely steep 200 meter hill, in pursuit of a speeding wheel of double gloucester cheese. it was all going so well. great characters—several of them well over 80 years old, a delicious cheese and an insane competition. in the midst of it all, we encountered a japanese crew with a host/competitor who does a variation on a theme of what i do. if i’m a glutton for punishment, he’s glutton for comedy, in the vein of the manic TV host from Lost in Translation. it was a very surreal moment to say the least. both of us, from thousands of miles away, running into each other on an otherwise deserted hill in the middle of the gloucester countryside.

it was all going so well until a day before the competition, when an overzealous judo champion, who was corralled into teaching me to roll safely, pinned me to the mat in a way that twisted the ligament in my knee. ouch. even the glutton in me had a hard time dealing with that pain.
ligaments aside, the show must always go on. so this morning I hobbled up to the top of the hill, and rolled, stumbled and tumbled my way through a sea of cider-fueled humanity. believe it or not, the japanese comedian cartwheeled his way to second place—before being carted off with a broken ankle.

fyi, this episode will air in the beginning of the new year.

b

May 20/07

As a testiment to how busy i have been (and how little time there has been to blog), i have not even have the time to respond to Toronto Star TV critic Vinay Menon. Vinay used a review of Glutton to go off (waaay off) on a diatribe about reality TV. Then he challenged my ability to conjugate verbs and questioned whether I am a “dazzling savant at mastering obscure culinary adventures” or if my uncanny success rate is due instead to “opponents who are less than worthy”. Note to Vinay: Why question your keenly honed instincts when your first impression is bang-on. I am a dazzling savant. It just took me five years of driving around in a Toastermobile to find my true calling.

and on that subject of finishing in the front of the pack, i have heard rumblings that some viewers have questioned the final standings of some episodes. under oath, i promise you that all the results are real. and when something goes wrong, as in the waiter’s race episode where i was stripped of my victory, we document it. in fact i get my but kicked in a couple of forthcoming episodes. and if you are amongst those who are cheering for my demise, read on to see what season 2 has in store for me.

now that that is off my chest, i have some big news to share: Food Network USA has acquired the rights to air Glutton for Punishment. The show will begin airing july 10 in primetime at 9:30pm, following Bobby Flay’s hand-to-pan combat show Smackdown. Kudos to the Fine Living network for their support and to Bob Tuschman at Food Network.

On the home front, I been madly preparing for season 2. “preparing” means lots of cycling, core exercises and plenty of wine drinkin’. the first two episodes of season 2 take place in the u.k.. we start with a cheese rolling contest in Gloucester England. In this event, about 20 hard-headed rugby types stand at the top of a 200 meter high, insanely steep hill. Someone rolls a 10 lb wheel of Gloucester cheese down the hill. A second later the bell goes and the lunatics (and this year that will include me) chase the cheese, tumbling head over heals like rag dolls, until someone rolls to the bottom of the hill and pounces on the cheese. The prize? The winner gets the cheese, bragging rights and if need be, the shotgun seat in the ambulance.

If I survive the cheese chase, I’ll be heading to Ardrossan, Scotland for a haggis hurling competition. At first I thought I’d be eating haggis, drinking scotch, then hurling the haggis. But apparently, the haggis is thrown, not thrown up. I’m counting my blessings…although I am sure there will be some scotch drinking involved. On the subject of scotch drinking, anyone who is a scotch fan should track down an out-of-print copy of Ralph Steadman’s book Still Life with Ralph. Steadman is the gonzo illustrator best known for his work for Hunter S. Thompson and Rolling Stone magazine. His character descriptions of the still masters and his wry sense of humor are matched only by his love of a wee dram.

The Gods of scheduling were on my side when the date was selected for the haggis hurling. If I am not in a hospital bed after the cheese rolling, I’ll have 7 days between competitions. Just enough time for me and my director William Morrison to cycle from Gloucester to Ardrossan. In all we intend to ride 600 km in about 6 days, weather, traffic and distilled distractions permitting.

More breaking news as I tumble.

b

Some books take years to write (such as Off the Eaten path which took 18 months to write and illustrate and design). Others, because of time, schedules or arbitrary deadlines are birthed in a flurry of activity. Last month I spent 14 days in 3 cities (New York, Los Angeles and Chicago) in 24-hour lockdown, co-writing a grilled pizza book with Elizabeth Karmel, my good friend and grilling guru. And when I say lockdown, I really mean it. During the last 8 day stretch in Chicago, we literally only left Elizabeth’s apartment building twice. Fortunately Elizabeth has a well-stocked larder and an even better stocked wine cellar (cellar being a euphemism for bottles and cases squirreled away in every nook and cranny of her apartment.). The resulting 201 page manuscript will see the light of day sometime next year.

The following is the letter we sent to our editor after we finished the book and a sneak peak recipe:

SUBJECT: what’s so funny about pizza, love and understanding?

TO: pam hoenig <PHoenig@taunton.com>

12:40am

Thursday March 8

Dear Pam,

We are f**#g spent. And we don’t want to think about grilled pizza ever again (well, not at least for a whole week). But we are very proud and extremely excited about what we have pulled out of our collective ass.

This book is waaaay beyond what we thought we were selling you. But we know that all of us will benefit from the level that we feel this book has risen to.

And that’s not being bragadocious! All we did was work hard (actually, insanely hard) drink far too much fabulous wine (though not a single cork was liberated before 10pm) and let the universe of grilled pizza channel itself through us. By the way, please forget about the cleaning lady and send wine—our respective cellars have been pillaged.

Two housekeeping notes: we put a few design and organizational notes on the last page of the manuscript. And we intend to do the final recipe testing during the week of April 16.

As hard as we have worked, we know your objective perspective will add another layer to the book, and we look forward to your comments.

In grilled pizza we trust,

bob + elizabeth

PS Manuscript to follow later today

 

Here’s a preview from the book. It’s my all-time favorite grilled pizza:

Blistered Corn, Asparagus & Pesto Pizza

Serves 2-4

2 ears corn, husks removed

12 asparagus spears, bottom third discarded (unless pre-trimmed)

4 tablespoons olive oil, divided

1/4 cup uncooked grits or polenta [for rolling dough]

1 4-inch ball of prepared dough, at room temperature

1 cup pesto sauce (store-bought or see pantry, page 00)

12 oil-packed sun-dried tomatoes, cut into 4 strips

6 ounces brie cheese, skin removed if you choose and sliced into 1/4-inch strips, then cut into 1-inch squares

1/2 teaspoon red chile flakes

Kosher salt and freshly ground pepper to taste

Adventure club: replace asparagus with fiddleheads or scapes (wild scallion)

Gas grill: preheat to high

Charcoal grill: build fire

For corn and asparagus: Brush with oil and season with salt.

Grill over direct medium heat for approximately 8 minutes, turning occasionally, or until both begin to brown. Remove and let cool. To remove kernels, stand corn upright on bottom of cob. Grip top of cob, and slide your sharpest knife straight down between the cob and the kernels. Slice asparagus into 1/4-inch pieces. Reserve both for topping.

Sprinkle work surface with grits or polenta. Place dough directly in the middle of the work surface. Gently roll or stretch out dough into a 12-inch rectangle or circle, about 1/4-inch thick. Brush both sides generously with olive oil and set aside. When ready to grill:

Gas grill: reduce heat to medium

Charcoal grill: move all of the gray-ashed briquettes to one side

Pick up the dough by the two corners closest to you. In one motion, lay it down flat—directly over the heat source—onto the cooking grate from back to front. Immediately close lid and grill for 3 minutes (no peeking!), check crust, and if necessary, continue grilling until the bottom of the crust is well marked and nicely browned.

Use tongs to transfer crust from grill to peel and close lid. Flip crust to reveal grilled side. Spread entire surface with pesto. Sprinkle with corn, asparagus and sun-dried tomatoes. Top with cheese. Then:

Gas grill: switch to indirect heat by turning off one burner

(for grills with 4 or more burners, turn off the 2 center burners)

Charcoal grill: no change to charcoal configuration

Set pizza back on cooking grate over the unlit section and grill until bottom is well browned and cheese is melted—about 7-10 minutes.

Remove from grill, finish with chile flakes and season with salt and pepper to taste. Slice and serve immediately.